According to Facebook, I've got quite a few “friends”. If you asked me to write down a list of friends, I wouldn't have nearly so many. I know all of my Facebook friends, and I've even met most of them in person. But Facebook distorts the meaning of the word now, making it sound like there's are relationships that don't really exist.
I'm not the first person to make that observation, of course–not by a long shot. In fact, recently I was listening to an interview with an author making the case that we should revive the term “acquaintance” for our Facebook and other online friends (with the exception, naturally, of our real friends). (I wish I could remember the interviewer and author, but the names continue to escape me.)
The problem is that “acquaintance” sounds so formal. “My Facebook acquaintances” doesn't roll off the tongue, much less the fingertips texting a tweet.
So let's call them ‘quaints'. It sounds almost the same, only shorter. And it works in all the common Facebook usages:
“I've got a lot of Facebook quaints now.”
“Why don't you quaint me on Facebook?”
“She unquainted him after they broke up.”
So, if we know each other, quaint me on Facebook.